How dare you, I’m sure that they are good patriotic American English professors! They’re just from a different state than you.

No, don’t you all see? He’s actually so genius that we mere mortals can’t comprehend his brilliance, as attested to by his multiple friends who are totally real English professors who exist and spend time with him, and are definitely not fictitious people he just made up on the spot to try to strengthen an obviously bullshit argument. Well, no, you wouldn’t have heard them, because they, um, teach at a different school, but the important part is that they are intelligent enough to see the clever underlying structure of his wide ranging and definitely intellectually brilliant speeches, which the rest of us apparently aren’t.

I think it’s not so much people who are undecided about who they will vote for, and more people who are undecided whether they will bother to vote for their preferred candidate or just stay home.

Yeah, “racial discrimination lawsuit” sounds like a bunch of woke Democrat talk to me.

Seriously, I do hope he wins some money off of those assholes, but I hope even more that this was a wakeup call for him about the sort of people he was affiliating with, and the sort of views he has been supporting.

• Shooting two guns at the same time looks cool.
• Aiming at two targets at the same time is hardly possible.

These are not in any way mutually exclusive and in fact are both true.

So, the test administered by the IBA was “We can’t tell you, it’s proprietary” and the results of the test were “Trust me bro, she failed,” and now this supposed test result is being used by people to jump to conclusions about her appearance and to try and drag her down just to make a rallying point in arguments about sex and gender in sports. Sorry if people blatantly ignoring how flimsy their evidence is so they can make a point by accusing some athlete of being really a male led me to make my own uncouth assumptions about the personality of someone who would hold such a view.

Unironically, yes, that is a decent summary of the situation. I mean your last bullet wasn’t in the article and is somewhat subjective, but…

Like the could drag his dumpy fat ass off the stage before he’s ready to move while keeping him covered. They did the best they could with a man so driven by theatrics and ego.

If this was a false flag I doubt the secret service agents would be in on it anyway. Now, I wouldn’t put it past Trump to fake an assassination attempt, but I would be surprised if he pulled one off without any blatant mistakes or leaks. I guess we’ll see, but there isn’t enough public information yet to jump to any conclusions. There are plenty of people with plenty of reasons to want the man dead after all.

U.S.: Please don’t attack Taiwan.

China: You’re trying to reverse psychology me into attacking, but I won’t be fooled.

U.S.: Oh, good. So, you agree not to attack Taiwan?

China: I will if I want to and it’s none of your business.